Tip #3

Never Mess With Your Kid’s Toys!

‘Where is your father?’ Akanksha asked Akshan, who was now four years old, and no more a scratch machine.

‘He had an accident, Mom.’ Akshan was busy building his Lego buildings.

‘What? Where is he?’

‘Lying on the road.’

‘What the hell! And you’re here playing with your toys? Have you no shame?’ Akanksha wiped sweat off her forehead, she thought the kids to be as irresponsible as Shrey, who didn’t care at all about their dying father.

‘Hey, you, where’s Dad?’ Akanksha held Nirvan by his thin arm. He was a sweet, innocent and very honest boy, so unlike Akshan.

‘He’s outside, lying on the road, he had an accident!’

‘And what are you doing? Watering plants? Are you so heartless?’ Akanksha was on the verge of crying now. She rushed towards the main gate and hit the road.

At a distance, she saw Shrey lying on the road, ‘stuck in a toy car’!

‘SHREY! What the hell is this?’ she ran towards him.

‘Akanksha, help me. The cunning boys went inside and said it was too hot to stand in this bright sun, what fucking assholes have I raised!’

‘What were you doing in this car? I bought this for the boys!’ Akanksha couldn’t be angrier. Shrey had crossed limits of his sanity this time.

‘I was trying it out, to check the safety of course. I just cannot hand a dangerous toy like this to my boys without performing a test drive, can I?’

‘Test drive? You’ve failed even from the standards of a kindergarten kid, now get up!’

‘Can’t you see?’

‘What?’

‘I’m stuck in this thing, pull me out!’

‘What? How did you get stuck in here?’

‘I don’t know, now will you please pull me out?’

‘Okay, give me your hand.’ Akanksha grabbed his hand tightly, but she didn’t have enough strength to pull out her eighty kilograms heavy husband out of a tiny car which was too small even for his legs to fit in!

‘I don’t think it’s working. I think we might have to get this car cut off with a welding arc, or with something sharp.’

‘WHAT?’ Shrey was terrified.

‘Yes, Mr Husband. I am so glad that finally, this incidence will teach you a lesson, and you will not mess with boy-toys next time.’

‘No, please get me out. I promise I won’t test drive any car in future!’

‘I can’t get you out, this is so badly stuck, Shrey. Wait here, till I call some help.’

‘No, I can’t wait here in the middle of the road like this. People are laughing at me. You walk inside, and I’ll follow.’ Shrey started waddling and taking little steps from inside of that tiny car. He couldn’t do anything but waddle like a duck in the middle of a busy road and become a scene for people passing by.

‘I swear I won’t listen to my asshole sons next time. They tricked me into this and asked me to try it. It would be fun, they said!’

Shrey managed to reach inside his house and the gatekeeper couldn’t control his laugh either.

‘What are you laughing at? Haven’t you tried to become a superhero for your kids?’ Shrey mocked.

‘I have called a welder, he will be here any moment now. Just relax for a while, you will soon be cut out of this mess.’ Akanksha sat near him in the garden, while their sons laugh at them from a distance.

‘I wonder, Shrey, what if the welder chops off something you need the most?’

‘W.H.A.T.?’ Shrey was about to faint.

‘See, you’ve stuck yourself so badly into this, your lower body is all squeezed inside this seat and I don’t think he’ll be able to get you out without cutting this edge.’ Akanksha pointed out a metallic edge which was holding Shrey’s crotch tightly.

‘Oh my God. What will I do? I will die, Akanksha…please find some other way.’ Shrey could see his life revolving around his eyes.

‘There’s only one way, if you promise me to never do any such childish thing ever in future.’ Akanksha spoke in a serious tone.

‘I promise, I promise, I swear!’ Shrey was desperate enough to do anything, but get out of that hellish car.

‘Alright, here you go…’ Akanksha snapped open the side door, which was secured using a key.

‘What the hell! Where was this key before?’

‘Akshan had it in his pockets. When I offered him a box of chocolates, he told me how to get daddy out of the car! They’re your sons, Shrey, I know how to trick them!’ Akanksha laughed out loud.

The entire episode became a mockery for Shrey and a big lesson of never messing around, when you are a father of your own wicked sperms, err, kids!